Perspective: The Monster

This seems so familiar. He's been here before. Fight or Flight grasps his mind. Is this the final stand? Will he make it through this time? Bombarded with memories, something wants to hold on, yet he wants to flee, emotionally, physically, mentally.

She can see it on his face. Her mind goes on overdrive, she knows what's coming-she becomes defensive-denial kicks in. He tries to make it sound better, to ease the pain, but it's all in vain. He becomes the Monster, again. The whys distract his train of thought, he can't answer everything. He was trying to solve the puzzle for a long time, what a failure. He tried to love more, give more-fight himself for her. She doesn't see it, she doesn't care. For her, he is the Monster, emotionless and selfish.

“The Great Act of Selfishness”. He needs to leave for him, not for her. She is not enough for him (he doesn't speak the words) but he is everything to her. He could lie, again, to him, to her, to the end. He chooses not to, he embraces this Monster, yet he tries to leash the pain and tears. He tries to make her see, everything that comes out of his mouth is wrong, it's communication failure.

She is ready to settle, to do everything she can to keep this, whatever this is, love or false reality. She doesn't see it, it's not her, it's not even him, it’s how it works. She is the victim of the circumstance of this outdated Act. She thinks she can manage to make the change, to force this love, force the feelings. Little does she know, he also tried to do it as well. They are both failures. Maybe that's the only thing they have in common now.

Suddenly he finds strength, determination. He stands his ground, he doesn't give in. This is it. The final stand, he is so close, and he is going to make it. Embracing the ego, the Monster, he is not going to get out of this looking good, he doesn't care, he needs to end this, fast, before he caves. He is angry now, he would rather make her feel hate so she can stop feeling sad. The truth comes out effortless, he gains momentum, and he makes it to the bitter end. He loved and lost, won and failed, he felt joy and regret. He is human. He survives, so does she, she might not realize but some day she will, when she becomes the Monster. 

*Fight or Flight: The instinctive physiological response to a threatening situation, which readies one either to resist forcibly or to run away.